Fabrique Love places great emphasis on providing valuable dating advice to our singles, and one crucial aspect we address is financial responsibility. The question arises: When and how should you initiate a conversation about this topic with your partner? Particularly during times of financial crisis, when many of us are more conscious of our spending habits in the dating realm.
Survey conducted by dating app Coffee Meets Bagel and financial technology company Syfe on the topic of dating and finances among young adults in Singapore – reveals that a significant number of respondents prioritize financial compatibility when it comes to dating. 70% stated that they would consider financial responsibility as an important factor in a potential partner. The study also highlights the impact of financial stress on relationships and explores the differing perspectives between genders on who should pay for dates. Overall, the survey sheds light on the importance of financial discussions and compatibility in modern dating dynamics.
Phase 1: The expectations
The initial phase of dating, there has already been expectations within each one of us on the ideal income of our potential partner. Hence, based on the survey:
- The majority of women, or 60 per cent, prefer that their partner makes more money than them
- But most men, or 70 per cent, do not care how much their partner makes
Phase 2: Money talk during the honeymoon phase?
- Two in three believe it’s a turnoff to bring up the topic of money on the first date
- However, there is a generational divide — 58 per cent of those above 35 believe money talk is taboo on the first date, versus 40 per cent of those below 35
- One in three of all respondents would share how much they earn within five dates
- 44 per cent feel it’s appropriate to ask someone how much they earn before becoming a couple
As a relationship progresses and becomes more serious, there are several money-related topics that may arise during the honeymoon phase. These can include discussions about who pays for meals and dates, as well as how the couple should allocate their spending on leisure activities and entertainment.
Phase 3: Taking $$ to the next level (of commitment)
Insufficient communication about finances during the dating phase can lead to various common financial issues for couples.
- Different financial personalities: When each partner has a different financial personality, it can lead to disagreements about spending, saving, and investing
- Hidden spending: When one partner spends money without telling the other, it can lead to trust issues and financial strain
- Hidden debt: Hidden debt can be a major source of conflict in a marriage, especially if one partner has more debt than the other
- Financial power plays: When one partner tries to control the finances or make all the financial decisions, it can lead to resentment and conflict
- Money and extended families: Disagreements about money with extended family members, such as parents or siblings, can cause tension in a marriage
- Different core values about money: Most financial issues in marriage come down to one main factor: both partners have different core values about money
- Financial stress: Financial stress can be a big contributor to relationship stress, and many couples don’t talk openly to one another about their money burdens
- High debt: High levels of debt can cause stress and strain on a marriage, especially if one partner has more debt than the other
- One-sided spending: When one partner spends more money than the other, it can lead to disagreements and resentment
- Financial imbalance: When one partner earns significantly more money than the other, it can lead to power imbalances and conflict
Conclusion
Discussing finances can be challenging for many couples, yet avoiding these conversations can lead to further issues in the future. It is advisable to communicate about money matters early and regularly, appreciating the invaluable treasure that your marriage is. During the dating phase, it is essential to pay attention and honestly share information about your background and upbringing. Openly discussing your perspectives and emotions can create a sense of ease between partners and provide clarity about each other’s expectations.
